Beauty Battleground: Mascara Wars

Normally, I would provide documentation for my findings, but frankly I'm so irritated at the results of my mascara head-to-head that I'm setting aside my instinct to take pictures of the results to just go on tirades.

The Products:

Benefit Cosmetics Rollerlash Mascara - purchased at Sephora.com 
- product claim (from sephora.com): Bye-bye, eyelash curler! Roller Lash not only lifts and super-curls, but this instant curve-setting formula holds for 12 hours, is easy to remove, and contains provitamin B5 and serine, known for their lash-conditioning benefits.

Mirenesse iCurl Secret Weapon 24 Hour Mascara from Birchbox subscription
- product claim (from birchbox.com): This jet-black mascara is like Taylor Swift at the Grammys—it just keeps on winning. This award-winning favorite from the Aussie brand is leading the pack, and for good reason. It separates, lifts, and curls lashes for some serious, long-lasting drama.

skepchick.org

The final battle findings:
 
Neither one of these mascaras did what it claimed!
In the interest of fairness, I attempted to use each for a week. Both on uncurled lashes and curled lashes. I got the same lame results with both!
My lashes were stick straight, clumpy, flat/no volume whatsoever. BOOOOOO! The Mirenesse was a sample, so I'm just tossing it. But the Rollerlash? Yeah I spent good money on that! It's going back. Today.


 No matter what mascara I try, I still go back to THE BEST MASCARA I'VE EVER USED and am never disappointed.

What do you think? Is there a particular mascara that holds your devotion?